Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria from another angle
Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria(RSD) is a phenomenon that is experienced by almost 100% of people that have ADHD.* RSD is described as a triggering pain or emotional sensitivity to a real or perceived criticism or rejection.
No one truly likes to be rejected, but those with RSD heightens the felling. Dysphoria is the Greek work for “difficult to bear”. Hypersensitivity to physical and emotional stimuli combining with emotional dis-regulation causes a predisposition to being triggered by potentially everything.
The rejection sensitive dysphoria can be externalized and internalized. Everyone is very different, but I read a lot of articles to write this and they all had words that are similar to describe the experiences.
Externalizing RSD is said to look like intense rage. Rage is violent, uncontrollable rage. Hearing that might make you think that could be fighting or destroying things. More realistically, it is getting shaking hands and not being able to fight back tears when you are upset. It could also be entering a Fight, Flight or Freeze response whenever you are triggered.
Emotional Outbursts are also very common. Mama didn’t raise no bitch, so I learned how to not be a “cry baby” very early. Also, as a black woman, coming off as aggressive or to expressive is something that I am very conscious of. I believe that emotional outburst in my life show up as instant disassociation, binge eating, and sending multiple texts in a row.
Internalizing this can create some behaviors that are seen differently in certain situations. There are behaviors that are common in those who are trying to avoid the feelings that come along with RSD. What I find funny, is that those behaviors give more opportunities for criticism to be given.
People pleasing is a very common trait to those that are avoiding RSD. An everyday example would be feeling the need to smile at everyone that walks by in case they make eye contact. Burning ears when they do not smile back is something that I can not control. I could just not smile in the first place. Having jobs that are in the customer service industry or have to do with helping people is also common. Fulfillment is found in making others happy and feel better. Keeping the focus on others helps takes the attention off of ourselves.
Fear of failure and high expectations can show up as being an overachiever. Being an overreacher can lead to burnout because of the constant need to be better. “We need to talk” with no context is on of the scariest statements to hear. I begin sweat immediately. I have never made it though a professional one on one conversation without pit stains. Even if it is routine.
As I get older and gain more understanding, less things upset me. RSD is so interesting because these feeling can come from perceived or actual criticism. Knowing that this is a thing helps me remember that when I am going through an episode to use my logical mind to help calm me down. I am learning that taking pause and understanding truly helps me feel better.
*What to know about ADHD and Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria - Dr. William Dodson